No More Sakura Bashing
by Erendhyl
Summary: Naruto and Sasuke share their opinions on all the Sakura bashing occuring. Crack


No More Sakura Bashing

No More Sakura Bashing

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, or anything else related to Naruto. I am just a poor little fan killing time until the next manga chapter comes out by writing a story.**

Naruto talking

**Sasuke talking**

_Sakura talking_

Hello! I'm Uzumaki Naruto and that guy right there is Sasuke-bastard.

**...Why am I here dobe?**

Cause Itachi sent me those pictures of you as a baby and I said I'd sell them to your fangirls unless you agreed to do this.

**…Damn my brother.**

Sooo, anyway, we're here to talk about a very pressing issue. Would you like to say what that issue is teme?

**No.**

What?! Teme, you promised! This is important!

**Since when is anything you do important dobe?**

Grr, this isn't for me teme! We're doing this for Sakura-chan!

**Sakura?**

Yeah, Sakura-chan.

**What are we doing for Sakura?**

Gah! And they say _I'm_ an idiot.

**Do you want your head to remain attached to your body or am I allowed to remove it with my Sword of Kusanagi?**

(Naruto pouts) Anywaaay, the bastard over there and I are here to talk about a very pressing issue concerning our beloved Sakura-chan.

_**Our**_** beloved?**

You know you like her teme, just admit it already. As I was saying, we're here to talk about all the Sakura bashing that occurs in fanfics and pretty much everywhere on the internet.

**Basically, "Sakura bashing" occurs when people make Sakura out to be a completely useless, weak little fangirl who only ever fawns over guys (mainly me) and gets in the way, having no actual role in the plot of the canon.**

Heehee, Sasuke said _Sakura_, _make_, and _out_ in the same sentence.

**…How old are you again? Anyway, Naruto and I are here today to give our opinions on this.**

It's completely stupid and degrading to our beloved Sakura-chan!

**Once again, **_**our**_** beloved? And anyway dobe, you have to give them reasons, otherwise they won't listen to you.**

I did give reasons teme! I said it was completely stupid and degrading to Sakura-chan!

**…Idiot. Since Naruto doesn't seem to understand what a proper 'reason' is, it looks like I'll have to explain. Typically, the Sakura that appears in "Sakura bashing" is completely useless; she only thinks about her crush on me.**

That is so stupid! Sakura-chan doesn't do that!

**While Sakura **_**did**_** behave like this at the beginning of the series, she definitely changed, especially by Shippuuden.**

Shippuuden?

**It's what the anime called the second portion of the series. In the manga it was simply called "part 2."**

Holy crap, there's a manga and an anime about me?! I _knew_ I would be famous!

**The series isn't only about you dobe.**

Then why's it called "Naruto?"

**…Anyway, while Sakura may have originally been a useless little fangirl, over the course of the series her character has matured into a powerful kunoichi with a distinct personality that endears her to fans worldwide.**

Use smaller words teme!

**Sakura grew up.**

Oh, okay! Basically, while Sakura-chan still has feelings for Sasuke, it's no longer the crush she had at the beginning. She really loves him now, like she said on the night when he left.

_Flashback_

"_I… I love you more than anything! Stay with me, and I'll never let you regret it! We'll have fun every day and… and you'll be happy! I'll make sure of it. I'd do anything for you Sasuke! Just please… please, don't go!_

_"I'll even help you take your revenge. I mean it, I'll manage it somehow so please… stay with me."_

_End flashback_

Gaaah, that always makes me sad. Why'd you leave teme, why?!

**Dobe, I came back, didn't I?**

Still…

**Hn. Basically, Sakura realized that she was weak, so she tried to change herself.**

I think that happened sometime in the Forest of Death, you know, when she cut her hair.

**She always did seem different after that happened….**

_Flashback… again_

_I'd always thought of myself as a full-fledged ninja, proud to be an equal as I trailed after my teammates, crushing on Sasuke and scolding Naruto… watching them, safely from the background while they would both risk anything to protect me. Lee says he likes me too, and he risked his life to come between me and danger. You're all my teachers, and you've shown me what I want to be… like you, all of you. Now it's your turn to watch my back._

_End flashback_

Hey, I just remembered, weren't we both unconscious at that point?

**…Yeah…**

So how'd we remember it?

**…**

Seriously teme, how?

**…Moving on. In addition to her character growth, Sakura has also improved in her skills as a ninja. She spent two and a half years studying under Tsunade, the Hokage of Konoha, while Naruto and I were away from the village.**

Why'd you leave, teme, why?

**Sakura now a world-renowned medic-nin, possibly the best there is. She also inherited the inhuman strength that makes Tsunade famous.**

Like when she punched that boulder in front of the Akatsuki lair into little bits.

**…What?**

It was when we went to rescue Gaara. Only _you_ wouldn't know about that because you were too busy hanging out with the Snake Bastard.

**I was training to get stronger and avenge my clan.**

And that really took you three whole years to accomplish? Geez teme, my training with Ero-Sennin only took two and half years!

**Shut up dobe. And weren't you saying something about Sakura's improvement?**

Oh yeah! Anyway, Sakura really has changed since we graduated the Academy.

**She's stopped endlessly fawning over me, and instead has gotten much stronger and less annoying.**

And she's hot.

**Yeah, she is—wait a minute! Damn you Naruto.**

Yosh! I finally got teme to admit it! And I got it on tape!

**Dobe, give me that camera.**

(Phone conversation) Yeah, is this the guys who own the Naruto anime? I got an awesome video of Sasuke-bastard—

**NARUTO PUT DOWN THAT PHONE!!**

AnywayI'llcallyouback.He'sgotChidoriandhelooksmad—OW! Sasuke, Chidori doesn't go there!

**(Orochimaru-style laughter)**

Nooooooo, teme got taken over by the Snake Bastard.

**I'm fine Naruto.**

Oh.

**But you're not going to be!**

Teme, you know, we can solve this peacefully. There doesn't have to be any pain. _Teme!_

_Hi guys, what are you doing?_

(Sasuke quickly shoves Chidori behind his back.) **Nothing.**

Yeah, we're not doing anything Sakura-chan.

_But weren't you two supposed to be doing a special?_

Nope, we just finished it!

**So, in conclusion, please refrain from bashing Sakura in your fanfiction, amvs, and general Naruto-based conversation.**

And the show is called Naruto!

**Right, now give me those baby pictures of me that Itachi sent you.**

Aww, but they're so _kawaii_!

(Eye twitches) **Never say 'kawaii' like that again.**

You're such a stick in the mud.

_Aww, Sasuke-kun you really were cute when you were a baby._

**Sakura, give those pictures back!**

_No way! These are definitely going in next week's manga chapter!_

**Sakura!**

_Sasuke-kun, get off me, you're damaging the pictures!_

Sweet! I gotta film this and then go try to convince Kishimoto-sensei to put it in the manga.The poses they're in look kinda… suggestive. (surprisingly evil-sounding laughter)

**And remember…**

No

**More**

S**a**k**u**r**a** b**a**s**h**i**n**g

_Aww, that was sweet guys. __**Inner Sakura: I can stand up for myself! Shannaro!!**_

-Owari-

**A/N: Wow; that was my first crack fic. Seriously though, the Sakura bashing needs to stop. She's not a hindrance to her team anymore, and she was more than willing to hit Sasuke (**_**with**_** her inhuman strength) the last time they met. She's changed, and more people need to acknowledge this. Go Haruno Sakura!**


End file.
